As I read this letter over and over I kept thinking of men.  Jesus told the church he was proud of their love, their faith, the good stuff they do, and even how they patiently endure the tough stuff life was throwing at them.  Then He hit right between the eyes.  Jesus told them that in spite of all the good stuff, He was troubled by. . .literally, “held it against them”. . .their willingness to accept and follow a false prophetess.  Jesus called this woman “Jezebel.”  Don’t know if that was her real name or a reference to one of the most vile and immoral queens Israel had ever had.  Doesn’t really matter much, either way they got the point.  She was teaching and they were following her down the road of sexual immorality.

So how does this relate to guys, me included?  We trust God, love others, do great things – even in the name of God – and patiently endure the hardships of marriage, rebellious children, layoffs, pay cuts, addictions, and a whole mess of stuff.  Yet, we give in to Satan’s lies about lust, pornography, sexual immorality, adultery, and all kinds of sexual sins.  I’ll be the first to admit that it’s tough being a godly man in today’s world.  But how can we ever be the church – God’s church – when men won’t deal with these ongoing sins?

Listen guys, we have to get over our shame, our guilt, and our pride if we ever hope to face up to these problems in our lives.  They’re real and they are tearing down our lives, our marriages, our families, our communities and having an incredibly negative impact on Jesus’ bride – the church.

Let’s start talking about these struggles.  Let’s begin encouraging and helping one another.  Let’s begin praying for one another.  Your wives deserve it!  Your children deserve it!  Your God deserves it!

Let’s stop being the church at Thyatira.  Let’s stop believing Satan’s lies.  Let’s be the men God designed and desires us to be!

Mike

As far as the church (our churches) goes here’s what I wrote.

But I was drawn Jesus’ words, “You have forsaken your first love.” The more I thought about those words the more I thought about the church’s relationship to Jesus.  He is their groom and the church is his bride.  In essence He was saying that his bride had lost their love for their husband. . .their spouse.

As I mulled these words around in my mind this morning I couldn’t help to wonder about my own marriage.  I remember when we got married – the excitement, the wonderment, the awe, the amazement that God would bless me with such a gift.  Then I began thinking, after only a year and three months, would Cindy know if I had stopped loving her like I did when we first got married?  Would she be able to tell if I was just going through the motions?  Am I more madly in love with her today than I was the day we joined our lives together?  I wrestled with these questions.

Here’s what I came up with:

1. I am more madly in love with her today that I was the day we were married!
2. I never want to get to a place where I ‘m just going through the motions – I want to do what I do because I love her. . .AND I want her to know it!
3. I never, ever want her to wonder if I’m just going through the motions – doing the right things without the right reasons.
4. If she ever thinks I am, I want her to call me on it.
5. If I find myself going through the motions, I want to be man enough to admit it, repent of it, and begin falling back in love with her.

What about your relationship with your wife?  You just going through the motions in your relationship with her?  If not, keep it up!! Our world needs more men like you.  You can help by encouraging and teaching others what you’ve learned about keeping the love fires hot.   If you are just going through the motions, Jesus said there was a solution.  I think it’s risky,  but it’s His remedy not mine.  He says we need to admit we’ve forsaken our first love; first to yourself, second to God, and third to your wife.  This takes guts.  It takes courage.  It takes a willingness to do things right and be obedient to God – love God and love others, most especially your wife.  Then Jesus tells us to repent, or turn from just the motions and turn back to your wife.  This may mean getting rid of anything and everything that attracts and distracts your love away from your wife.  Finally, Jesus said we shoudl get back to doing those things that you did when you first started falling in love with her.

Like I said, this could be risky, but it’s the right thing to do.  Just remember, just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing.  Guys, it’s up to us to take the lead in our families.  It’s up to you to make things right.

Mike

Here’s the cool thing that I piqued my interest – they would meet and have church.  That’s right, in the pursuit of their passion or interest they would have worship, Bible study, pray for one another, and share the gospel – all the things that we do in “church.”

Then it hit me!  How many guys do I know who have definitive interests – fishing, hunting, cycling, motorcycles, lifting weights, running, technology, finances, their jobs, and a bajillion more I just don’t have time to jot down, that could use those gifts, passions, and interests to reach out to other guys?

I remember when I lived in Lufkin, Texas I rode with the Angelina Bike Club.  We met every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday to ride mile after mile together.  Some went to my church, some attended other churches, some didn’t go to church at all.  But cycling was my bridge to this group.  It was what I lived for.  I prayed for them.  I encouraged them.  They encouraged me.  And I got the chance to minister to those guys.

When I moved to Saraland, AL I bought my first Harley.  Man! Did I have a blast using that bike that reach out to people. . .to guys in the same way.  Tom Briand and I went on many a ride on our Harleys.  We prayed together.  We encouraged each other and on several occasions we were able to encourage other guys.

What about you, men?  What’s your passion or interest?  And how can you use it to reach out to the men in your circle of influence?  What if you said something like, “God, I love doing/participating in ________________, I give it to you to reach men who share the same passion.“  Then, you begin open your eyes to who God leads you to.  You may have to join a club or organization.  Maybe not.  You may have to hang out with some guys you normally wouldn’t.  But aren’t those the guys we want to reach anyway?!

If we are going to change our families and communities we are going to have to change the hearts of men.  And that takes men willing to take a risk.  Men who will use their interests, hobbies, and passions to reach out to guys from all walks of life. It will take men who are willing to be bold.  Men who are willing to step out on faith and trust God.

Take the challenge!

Mike

Somewhere in my spiritual journey I became tame. Somewhere in time I bought in to and accepted the notion, that I needed to know where the light switches were in the tunnel. I needed to know the whys, hows, and wheres of my journey with God. I came to believe that I needed to, and had the right to know the destination. . .ultimately I became tame, timid, and tired. I began to evaluate and study life. I had to figure life out.  And in the process I settled down and became a “responsible” Christian. At some point in my journey I started to ask the “Why?” question. Why would we want do that? Why would you want to change this? Why do we need to do it differently?

Even though I accepted this as normal, there was always a yearning. . .a sense deep within me that knew this wasn’t right. This morning God showed me that I had stopped dreaming big dreams and stopped asking “Why not?” He showed me men, who over the years, have asked the “Why not?” question.   Men who have influenced me in the past and continue to influence me, even now. Guys like Steve, Ed, Stacey, and Gene. Guys who don’t let the “Why?’s” tie them to the leash of life. These are men who I have heard with my own ears ask, “Why not?” These guys are an inspiration to me and serve as a reminder that we are not to live the caged life, but to live the wild, adventurous life of following God. Every morning we are to hit the floor willing to live the life focused on the pursuit of the Kingdom of God and His righteousness; the life that knows no boundaries; the life lived with wild anticipation that God will do something extraordinary with me and those who are willing to ask “Why not?”

This morning I committed to God to stop worrying about the how and focus on the what. I apologized for not fighting for Him, for Cindy, and for a few good men. I sought His forgiveness for allowing this world, the church, and my own fears to turn me into a complacent, life-numbing, man whose focused had become  “Why?”

What about you? Men, God has called us to be adventurous. He’s put that part of himself within us. He destined us to become leaders and warriors, men who are willing to fight for their King, their Eve, and the hearts and lives of a couple of other fellow warriors. Don’t become what I had become. Don’t become the “Why?” guy. If you find yourself in that place, confess it to God and ask Him to prepare you for the journey. You may have to unload some gear. You may have to set down some comforts. You will have to leave the why’s and where’s behind. You will have to let go of some baggage like pride, selfishness, anger, sarcasm, doubt, and worry. You will have to lace up your boots, grab a knife, sword, or spear, and head out into unknown territory.   You will have to trust God – that He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do.  You will have to stop asking the “Why?” question and will have to start asking the “Why not?” question.

Won’t you join me in the tunnel?

Mike

I’m pretty sure I’m a worrier by nature. I worry about finances, the ministry, my job, and getting stuff done. I always worry about being late, the future, and past mistakes. And wondering about whether what I do is good enough or not, or even if I’m good enough or not brings me to my knees with worry.

Yet we’re told not to worry (Phil 5:6). And to help me, God gave me the Good Shepherd (John 10:11, 14) to watch over me, to care for me, to give me rest from fear, turmoil, tension, and the like. Even rest from myself.

God also gave me His presence – the Holy Spirit. Jesus calls Him the Comforter and the Counselor. It’s in these two roles Jesus says He will leave with me – give me – peace. Not just any peace, but the peace of Christ. The kind of peace I find in the midst of a life of worry. All I have to do is receive this amazing gift.

Thank you God for the Holy Spirit. Thank you Jesus for the Comforter and my very own Counselor who will teach me and guide me. Thank you Holy Spirit for the peace you bring to my life.

Now, I won’t always listen. I won’t always accept your guidance or your comfort. At times I will wallow in self-pity, worry, and anxiety. I will be restless more than you or I wish. But I know you are fatihful. You are always there…waiting, hoping, and ready. Thank you.

Men, what about you. Did you wake up this morning worrying about something. Was it similar to what I worry with? Maybe it was different. Maybe it was a relationship. Maybe it was your marriage. Maybe it was your job performance. Maybe it was a child. It doesn’t matter. Worry is worry.

You can be free from worry. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and receive the peace He offers. Unload a life of worry onto the One who died to free you up from a life a worry, fear, and anxiety. Want to know more about how to accept Jesus’ gift of peace click here for more information.

If you have made Jesus your Lord and Savior, then you need to realize (if you haven’t already) that Jesus is also your Shepherd (Ps 23). And as your Shepherd, He offers you rest from your worry. He provides you with peaceful pastures and quiet streams to enjoy and to relax. And while you’re doing that, He’ll protect you. He will watch over you so you won’t have to. Confess your worry right now and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and comfort you. Ask God to fill you with the peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). And don’t forget to thank Him for this incredible gift of peace.

Shalom,

Mike

Along those lines I believe that every man who calls himself a Christ-follower ought to live a life that demands some evidence of his commitment to Christ.

I was reading John 12 last week and it got me to thinking.

In John 11 you have Jesus raising his good friend Lazarus from the grave – he was dead and is now alive. In chapter 12 we find Jesus hanging out with his really close, used-to-be-dead-now-he’s-alive friend. Jesus and his disciples are at Lazarus’ house eating, sharing stories, you know. . .guy stuff.

While they are there a whole bunch of folks start showing up, not only to see Jesus, but to see this guy who was dead and is now alive! I’m sure I would be one of the gawkers. C’mon. . .think about it. Here’s a guy that was really dead – he was dead for 4 days and really, really stunk. Now he’s walking, talking, laughing, eating, and drinking. Wouldn’t you want to see him?

OK, back to the story. . .

As it turns out, because  of Lazarus’ encounter with Jesus many Jews began to follow Jesus. And because of this, the Pharisees get perturbed and not only wanted to kill Jesus, but added Lazarus to the hit list as well.

As I read this I realized that Lazarus, who was dead and is now alive by Christ, was pointing people to Jesus. What a great lesson for us. We, too, who were dead in our transgressions or sins (Eph 2:1-3) have been made alive in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:4-5). And if we have been made alive in Christ, then shouldn’t our lives, also, be pointing people to Christ?

Men, if you have been alive in Christ, by accepting Him as your personal Lord and Savior (Rom 10:9-10), then you must ask yourself the question, “Does my life point people – my wife, my children, my clients, my boss, my friends, guests at my church, people I teach or serve with – to Jesus?” If not, then what can you do to change that? Whether you believe it or not there are people watching you and your life is speaking volumes to them. Which volume are they reading?

What evidence is there in your life that you have been raised from the death of your sins and made alive in Christ? Or do you look so much like the world that no one knows the difference. Yes, Lazarus was the same Lazarus. . .except he was different. Just ask a dead man what it means to be alive!

Just something to think about,

Mike

It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? We want to be something we’re not, but we don’t want to change to become it, do we? We want to be more like Christ, we want to be successful, we want to be loving husbands and fathers, but we don’t want to change.

Here’s a great question for you, guys, “How do you supposed we become more like Christ in our homes, relationships, workplace, communities, and church if we don’t change our hearts and mindsets?” To be honest, I don’t have a clue.

Change – the last frontier of our lives, yet the constant in all of life. Change brings life. Change brings new and with new comes life. Your body is constantly changing – some of you would definitely agree with me – but, it’s that change that rejuvenates life. A lack of change and rejuvenation ushers in stagnation and with stagnation death – death of the heart, our passions, and the mind.

God has been changing me lately – my mind and my heart. My life got to the point that it seemed that my anger was raising it’s ugly head all the time. I haven’t had to deal with my anger and its sinful outbursts in a long time. My outbursts scare Cindy. She reminded me that every time I get angry it costs me something – money to replace or fix something, my relationship with her and others, even my relationship with God. Something needed to change and change quickly!

Through some great counsel (thanks Scott) I’ve begun to read through a book that’s been around a while, but is having a dramatic impact in and on my life. It is T.W. Hunt’s The Mind of Christ. Did you know that you can have the mind of Christ? Do you realize that to have the mind of Christ is to be in complete harmony with God and God’s desires? I want that. I want to be so in tune with God that I’m free from the bondage of sin and sinful thinking.

Did you know that to have the mind of Jesus requires change? YEP!! Make no mistake about it, this is a process. It doesn’t happen over night, though there are some biblical principles that will make an immediate impact (change) if you begin applying them to your life and your relationships. I’m working through the process now, asking God to change my heart, my relationships, my loyalties, my prejudices, my thought process and I’m seeing God in a whole new light.

I’ve also asked some men, a band of brothers – fellow warriors who knows about struggle and life change – to pray for me and hold me accountable for my anger. They are. In fact one fellow warrior asked me about it this past Sunday morning. Thanks Terry. Keep it up.

Life, the life in Christ we can all have is about change. Life changes. . .we change, but do you want change for God?

As God teaches me I will share with you.

I would ask that you pray for me and pray for Cindy. Pray that God will give me opportunities to share what He is teaching me with other men who struggle as well.

Mike

Fortunately for me, God knew my needs and began to provide some incredible resources.  First was Promise Keepers.  They were just getting started and their speakers, events, and resources helped me understand the principles of how a godly man and husband is to act.  Second, God began placing godly men in my life.  Men who were in the corporate world and struggled with some of the same day-to-day issues I did.  They showed me how to live out the principles Promise Keepers was teaching me.  I dont’ think any of them know the depth of their impact on my life and future ministry.

As God moved me from the corporate world into ministry, he placed me under the wings of Gene Wilkes.  Gene has been an encourager, fellow runner-cyclist-triathlete, as well as a mentor when it comes to ministry and marriage.  God has also provided me several friends in ministry who continue to have an impact on my life.  Guys like Stacey, Steve, and Scott.  Seems like you have to have a name that begins with an “S” doesn’t it?  During different seasons in my life God has placed men like Grant, Billy,  Randy, Vince,  and Ed to see me through those seasons.

I am who I am because of the influence of Godly men God placed in my life.  But, besides the personal effects these godly men have made on my life and my desire to paint a picture for today’s men, statistics bear out the need for active ministry to men.

According to Focus on the Family’s Promise Keepers at Work . . .

• When a child is the first person in the family home to come to faith, the rest of the family will follow 3.5% of the time.
• When a mother/woman is the first person to come to faith, the rest of the family will follow 17% of the time.
• When a father/man is the first person to come to faith, the rest of the family will follow 93% of the time.

Now that’s a difference worth striving for.

Patrick Morely states that for for every ten men in the church. . .

• 9 will have kids who leave the church.
• 8 will not find their jobs satisfying.
• 6 will pay the monthly minimum on their credit card balances.
• 5 have a major problem with pornography.
• 4 will get divorced, affecting 1,000,000 children per year.
• Only 1 will have a biblical world view.
• All 10 will struggle to balance work and family.

Additionally, most pastor I have spoken to over the my 10 years of ministry say their one of their greatest needs is more leaders – more male leaders – in their churches.  They have experienced a shift from men being the active leaders – as opposed to positional leaders – to the women of their church being the active leaders in areas of Bible study, outreach, and ongoing ministry.

The need is there and it is great.  Men, especially men in the church, need a picture of what a godly man looks like.  And we want to help.  Won’t you join us?

Mike

I was recently speaking with a friend of mine about girl-guy relationships. This is a guy that has grown more in his relationship with God over the last year or so, than since becoming a Christ-follower. He’s a great guy – a hard worker, smart, and rides a motorcycle.
We had been talking about purity and how God calls us to remain pure in our girl-guy relationships until the time He unites us in marriage. He struggled with this for a while – like most guys do. As we walked through God’s standard for us as single men and how it is up to us to guard that standard as the spiritual leaders in our relationships he equated his desire for sex to “Snickers Bars.” We laughed, but what a great analogy! It was his way of talking about sex in terms he could understand since he likes Snickers Bars as well.

As I thought about his struggle and his analogy, I realized many of us have our own “Snickers Bars.” Don’t we? It may not be the overwhelming desire to be sexually active in our girl-guy relationships, but it could be our pride, our desire for more toys, pornography, the demanding desire to be in charge/control, our attitudes that we cling to, or our expectations of others. . .you get the picture.

What’s your “Snickers Bar?”

I’m so proud of my friend. He came to me one night and told me how he went to his friend’s house and told her, “No more.” He walked away from his “Snickers Bar.” I’m not sure if their still friends, but I know God loved to see him walk away. He enjoyed watching my friend set the example, not matter how tough it was for him. I know it wasn’t an easy decision for him to make. The decision to put down our “Snickers Bar” is never easy. But I do know he wanted to please God and be obedient. For my friend it meant finding an alternative way of spending his time and a substitute for “Snickers Bar.” If you and I want to please God, as well, we will have to do the same. My buddy did it and I believe with all my heart that God is looking at my friend with an incredibly huge smile and a special place in his heart for him. And God has blessed him with more jobs to do in his side business.

My friend fought for his King and the King’s standard of purity in girl-guy relationships. What a warrior!

What about you? You ready to put down your “Snickers Bar” and follow God? Willing to walk away and walk to God? Are you willing to fight for the heart of your King?

I won’t be easy, but God assures us that He will grant us the grace to see us through. He will be there all the way. Won’t you make the commitment today. . .now?

Mike

Dungy said that coaching or winning a Super Bowl was not his main purpose in life.  He stated that glorifying the Father was his main purpose.  How profound.  Here’s a guy that is constantly working to be better. He’s won the biggest football game on the biggest stage and stated, while that is the pinnacle of coaching, it’s not the pinnacle of his life.

Tony reminds us, men, that our jobs, that promotion or raise, that championship, the bigger house or better car are not to become the main things in our lives.  The main thing is not even our children or our wives.  Nope!  It’s none of those things.  It’s to glorify God.  None of those things, in and of themselves are bad.  But they are not to be the main thing in our lives.  The main this is to raise God up in our jobs, in our relationships, in our homes, and in our circumstances.

So what’s your main thing?

I have to admit, it’s a challenge.  It can be done.  I know guys who do it.  But, even they didn’t learn to do overnight.  You won’t either.  So start small.  Change your attitude at work – see your place of employment as a mission field rather than a mine field.  Start praying with and for your children.  Do the same with your wife or girlfriend.  Get involved with a small group of guys that will hold you accountable for your actions, words, thoughts, emotions, etc.

It takes guts and we have to let go of our pride, but we can do it!  Let’s accept Coach Dungy’s challenge and begin making glorifying God the main thing in our lives.

M ike