• In the process of incorporating the ministry. I’m waiting on the incorporation papers to come back so I can get with my accountant to file as a non-profit.
• Found out my truck needs transmission work and the driver-side window won’t roll up – and you’ve got to have AC in lower Alabama.
• Have a potential opportunity to speak at a men’s retreat in October.
• Sold my bed so God provided some funds to go grocery shopping this week and to help pay for the truck repairs – yea God!
• I have begun work on the In the Midst of the Valley manuscript – I’m reviewing it and thinking about how to organize and write it.
• Will be working on the ManHeart process – looking to turn it into a book/workbook study.

Well. . .got to get get busy. I always have stuff to do.

Mike

The next step is to take everything to my accountant to file with the IRS to become a non-profit organization and to set up ManHeart as an official business.  This step is the most time consuming and also the most expensive.

Pray that God will provide the needed finances – right now would be a good time to find a buyer for my car – 2001 VW Passat GLX with a V-6 and only 78K miles.  If  I sell the car it would provide funds for the initial investment,  funds to re-carpet the house so I can sell it in July/August, and a slight financial cushion for the summer.

I want to thank everyone who has been a part of this process, especially my  two directors – Steve Sparks and Scott White.  Pray for them as they serve alongside me.  Anyone out there who knows me is probably breathing a sigh of relief I didn’t ask them.  Don’t  get too comfortable I’m praying about adding a couple of more guys to the leadership team. 

Please keep praying for opportunities to share and for God’s leadership in my life.

Mike

This has been a journey in the process. I have been praying about this for several months now and believe this is God’s plan for me and ManHeart Ministries. I am very encouraged by the response I have received from members of North Mobile and others as I share the vision of the ministry.
So how am I doing? I’m scared! Actually, I’m scared out of my wits. Many people have shared how they admire my faith. Then again, it’s not them jumping off the cliff onto the invisible bridge, ala Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. As I shared with the congregation on Sunday, God has really been challenging me about stepping out and believing in Him alone. I ran across this quote not too long ago during my study on faith and God has used it to remind me that He alone is to be God.

“It’s not faith until it’s all you have to hold on to.”

So. . .with all the faith I can muster I am stepping out to pursue God’s calling for this new ministry. Please pray for me, the ministry, and those God is calling to come alongside me as my leadership team.

Feel free to contact me or leave me a comment.

Mike

I’ve been reading through a book I have come to find both intriguing and challenging. It’s Paul Coughlin’s No More Christian Nice Guy. In it Coughlin posits the idea that our culture and our churches are creating “Christian Nice Guys” and in doing so are damaging our families, our boys, our men, and even our churches.

Coughlin suggests that we (culture and church) have created an environment where men have become passive, uninitiated, and where “nice” is preferred over good. There is a difference, you know. Jesus was good, but He wasn’t always nice.

Let’s consider how many times he confronted (something nice guys don’t do) the Pharisees and Sadducees. He used words and phrases like. . .

• “Hypocrites!”
• “White-washed tombs.”
• “Fools!”
• “Dull.”
• “Brood of vipers fit for hell.”

Think back to the time He got angry at the temple and stood up for God and the truth of God. What did He do? Remember? In case it has slipped your mind, or you’re unfamiliar with the passage, We find in John 2 that Jesus got angry and began tearing the place a part. He even made a whip and started beating some people with it. Doesn’t sound like a guy who was “nice,” does it? So while Jesus was a good guy, He wasn’t always a nice guy. He was passionate. He was a risk-taker. He was a leader. He was a changer and a doer. He wasn’t a “yes” man. He certainly didn’t “go with the flow.” He was compassionate and loving. He was gentle, but not at the expense of His masculinity.

I go to thinking the other day. What’s the picture I often see of Jesus on the cross? It’s usually this emaciated man; one who looks like He’s been on a starvation diet for some time. But as I read about Jesus of the Bible I find Him to be a carpenter. A blue-collar man. He has callouses on His hands. The muscles in His arms, shoulders, back, and chest are well developed from years of hammering, chiseling, hand sawing (no power saws here, guys), and carving. His face is worn from sweat and dust. His skin is dark from walking in the sun that last three years. He doesn’t stand out from the crowd. He looks like many of the carpenters in the carpenter’s union. That’s the Jesus I see on the cross.
Our culture tells us to be nice . . .

• “Now you boys play nice.”
• “Be nice to one another.”
• “You don’t want to do that. It sounds too risky.”
• “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.” – I’ve said this one a time or two

What about our churches? How have they contributed to men’s desire to be “nice”? Well, when was the last time you heard a preacher tell women to learn to relate to their husband in his language? I often hear preachers and leaders encourage and challenge men to learn how to relate to their wives. It’s like we need to learn their language. We need to get in touch with our sensitive sides so we can understand them better. Yet, I rarely hear the same leaders encourage women to learn to understand their men better. Or to learn how to relate to them in the language of men. Or to stop expecting men to be something they’re not – soft and sensitive – and encourage wives to be more sexual and hands on. It’s as though the pressure is all on the man to make things work – even if it means emasculating him.

So we give in. We allow our culture, and even our churches, to step all over us. We stop being what God created us to be – leaders, risk-takers, doers, thinkers, challengers, . . .

Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote the forward. She writes,

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind men that they are men, and that this designation is not about biology; it’s about strength, will, honor, courage, leadership, sacrifice, compassion, and love.

Here I am, a nice Jewish mother, writing the forward for a book about Christian Nice Guys. Why? Because, within the context of Christian Scripture, there is a message for all of us: Men and women are created differently, equal in value, but different. The unisex, anti-male mentality that has infiltrated all our institutions, even our religious ones, has not brought cooperation, love, and serenity to homes and lives. In order for our children to become happy, functional, loving, contributing members of this world, they need the support an structure that an intact, happy home can bring. I see No More Christian Nice Guy as a step in that direction.

Don’t know about you, but that says a lot about where we are and where we need to get back to.

Last month Coughlin’s suggestion came to life for me. I had taken my car to get the tires rotated before I headed back to Texas spend time with my family over the Christmas holidays. I was reading this book when a young lady and her daughter came in to the waiting area. As I set the book down she asked me about it. I shared the premise of the book with her. She grinned and said that her best friend was struggling – in her marriage relationship, she was struggling. It seems that her best friend’s husband was too passive. Her best friend wanted her husband to be more aggressive. She wanted him to step up and make decisions. . .to take a stand. . .to take the lead. She wanted him to be a man. Oh, both of these families, I found out, are active in one of our locals churches.
It seems that there is more to this concept than meets the eye. It appears that this is just not an idea for the pages of books, but is alive and well. . .even in the buckle of the Bible belt.
As I wrap up, here are a couple of the chapter titles:

• Jesus the Bearded Woman
• Other Earnest but Damaging Church Messages to Men
• How Being “Nice” Ruins Love and Marriage
• We’re Men, Not Eunochs
• Masculinity: The Journey from Nice Guy to Good Guy (parts 1 & 2)
• Searching for One’s Soul and Facing One’s Fears
• No More Mr. Nice Guy: Practical Help for Your New Life Ahead

Hey guys. If you’re looking for a book that will challenge your thinking about manhood in the 21st Century, check it out.

Mike

Former CNG

If you noticed each of the questions above were point at you – NOT YOUR SPOUSE (if you have one). FYI – you’re job is to change you, not someone else. . .even your spouse.

So. . .what will you change?

Will you be more intentional about doing what it takes to have a RELATIONSHIP with God?

• Spending time with God – quiet time (or whatever you call it) that is consistent and regular.
• Intentional prayer times – not just shot in the dark or “fast food” prayers.
• Reading God’s Word – not just the devotional thought in the morning or evening.
• Share your story with God with others – not expecting others to do it for you.

Will you begin, and continue, to work on putting everything you are and everything you have influence over under the LORDSHIP of God?

• Heart
• Attitude
• Emotions
• Problems – big and small
• Finances
• Relationships
• Giftedness, abilities, and passions
• Job
• Hobbies
• You have more I’m sure

Will you WORSHIP the Lord by developing an unquenchable thirst for the things of God?

• Worship becomes a lifestyle.
• Sharing the difference Christ makes in your life.
• Loving others.
• Loving God.
• A hunger for God’s Word and understanding it.

Will you pick up the sword of WARSHIP?

• Fighting for God’s truth and His standards – even if it means standing alone.
• Fighting for your heart – especially when there’s no one to fight for you.
• Fighting for your Eve – fighting for her integrity and character.
• Fighting for the hearts of a few men – having their back even if they don’t know it.

I don’t know where you are in the process of becoming the man God designed and desires you to be, but you can start by having a personal relationship with Him. Click [here] to find out how. If you have a personal relationship with God, then you can begin the process, or in some cases kick the process up a notch, by choosing one of the areas listed above and gettin’ busy.

Just a reminder: The process doesn’t mean there’s a starting and ending point to each of the steps. In all actuality, you will be doing some in each area at the same time. They are integrally connected. So. . .when you’re developing a consistent time with God and working on the RELATIONSHIP, you are also working on the LORDSHIP – putting your time under His authority – and WORSHIP – becoming passionate about the things of God. Eventually you build up to the WARSHIP step of the process as you grow in your relationship with God by learning how to fight the victorious fight.

Find it . . . Pick it . . . Do it!

Mike

Max makes some statements about faith, that, as I pondered them, really helped me.  Allow me to share them with you.

• Faith is the conviction that Jesus can and a hope that He will.
• Faith is not (my emphasis) the belief that God will do what you want, but that He will do what is right.
• Faith is the belief that God is real and God is good.

Then I got to thinking . . . why is it so difficult for us men to have the kind of faith that allows our lives to intersect with God’s power?  Why don’t we trust God for everything in our lives – relationships, attitudes, finances, job, hobbies, children. . .you get the picture?  I think it has to do with our pride and our culture.

Our pride and our culture are inter-linked.  Our pride tells us we don’t need someone else’s help.  Our pride makes us a spiritual island.  Our pride makes us devoid of God’s power.  Our pride blinds us to our need – Jesus.  But, we give in to it. . .we protect it. . .we cherish it.  We polish it, love it, lean on it, trust in it, and allow it to control us.

Our culture, better yet, generationally we have taught our boys and young men that real men don’t need any help.  Real men pull themselves up by their own boot straps.  Real men suck it up. . .walk it off. . .don’t rub it. . .don’t cry. . .are strong. . .yadda, yadda, yadda.  Hey guys!  That’s a load of crap and don’t buy into it.  I remember when I used to think that I did everything myself.  I even remember telling my mom that all I had was because of all I did.  I worked for it.  I earned it.  I paid for it.  What a foolish little man I was.
Within the pages of the Bible we find a man who tried to take on life on his own.  Saul wouldn’t wait for Samuel to offer the sacrifice before they fought with the Philistines, so he did it himself.  Oooo, bad move.  After than God removed His hand from Saul.  It wasn’t Saul’s place to offer the burnt offering.  Besides, where was his faith in his LORD – the same LORD who set him apart as king of Israel?  Saul missed out on God’s power because of his fear. . .his pride.
When we try to do things ourselves – apart from God – we miss out on experiencing the power of Jesus.  I’m not sure God will remove His hand from you, but I do know from personal experience that you will not know of His incredible power.

Men, don’t allow your pride, our culture, your father or your father’s father tell you that you have to do things on your own.  YOU DON’T!!  Faith – it means trusting God’s heart, even when you can’t see His hand.  Faith – it’s putting trust into action.  Faith – it’s believing God wants the best for you.  Faith – allows you to see God move in and around you in the most incredible of ways.  Faith – don’t miss it!

Mike

So. . .here we have this young man and this very young woman in a legally binding relationship and he finds out she’s pregnant. I don’t know about you, but someone would be coming up with some answers pretty quick. And a divorce decree would be the least of anyone’s worries. Needless to say, I would be a bit emotional about the whole situation. Given their situation there would be disgrace, shame, guilt, and a whole host of emotions and perspectives placed upon the two families, especially Mary’s family.
What does Joseph do? He first decides to quietly divorce her. He was going to do the “right” thing according to the law, but he was going to respect her and do it quietly. He wasn’t going to make a big stink about it. He wasn’t going embarrass her anymore than she and her family had already been embarrassed. Then he’s visited by an angel of the Lord in a dream who tells him everything and tells him to take her as his wife. So what does this young man of God do? He wakes from his nap and immediately goes to Mary’s house. He receives her as his wife and takes her to their home – to love her, care for her, lead her, and treat her as his own. Not only that, but he doesn’t have sex with her until after Jesus is born. OK – I can see the caring, leading, loving part, but the no sex until after the baby’s born? Come on!! This guy is way more man than I am. Part of the reason I got married was to have sex!! Anyone out there with me? Or am I the only sap who will admit that the whole ” ’till death do you part” went in one ear and out the other because I was thinking, “let’s get on with it and get to the wedding night festivities!”? Any man denying they weren’t thinking about their wedding night is either so spiritual I can’t relate to him or lying.

Anyway. . .let’s give it up for Joseph! Not only did he display incredible manhood for taking Mary to be his wife and treating her as his own, but for respecting what God was doing in and through her that he waited until Jesus was born to consummate their marriage.

Joseph. . here’s to you!

Fear in and of itself is not bad. Fears can be a source of drive for us. Fear can move us forward. It’s when our fears control us that we stop becoming the men God designed and desires us to be. Why? Because its then when we start listening to our fears instead of listening to God. And who we listen to determines our perspective. If we are listening to our fears we see things from an ungodly perspective. As opposed to listening to God and having a godly perspective.

For me it’s the fear of failure and fear of loosing control. At times I fear that people around me aren’t happy. Being the oldest child of an alcoholic I grew up wanting to make sure everyone was alright. . .happy, so, at times I fear people around me aren’t happy and I have to make things right with everyone rather than listening to God.

These are my fears. What are your fears? What keeps you from being the man God designed and desires you to be?

Comment here or click on the “Contact Me” page below and email me.

Mike

Manliness

In his book, Manliness, Harvard professor Harvey Mansfield makes a compelling case that our society should stop looking at manliness as a curse and start embracing it as a virtue. It did not take long for the liberal media to begin howling at this rising moon with a clamor of protest. According to Mansfield, manliness “seeks and welcomes drama, and prefers times of war, conflict and risk.” Manliness asserts itself, craves adventure, loves action and power in a distinctively different way than women. Manliness desires the heart of a woman and seeks to protect and provide for her. It is this manliness that benefits and protects our culture especially in times of danger and war.

The Wall Street Journal last week reported that schools, parks and clubs across the nation that are removing diving boards from pools, and children are stopped from playing the game of tag. Why? The fear of someone getting hurt and filing lawsuits. This may be what therapists call a presenting problem. In fact, the culture is growing increasingly weary and suspicious of manliness. Boys are full of recklessness on
playgrounds and this frightens leaders in our litigious environment.

Where will the lack of manliness lead us? My guess is that it leads to a growing insecurity among males who find it confusing to even define “maleness” much less “manliness.” It leads to extreme expressions by males who have no role models of responsible masculinity. All too many males are acting in violence and predatory sexual nature both in reality television and reality. It leads to a timidity in leadership and a willingness to place an increasing burden on women to provide and protect themselves.

The ultimate expression of masculinity is Jesus Christ. He refused to be passive, accepted responsibility and awaited a greater reward. For the men who followed him, Jesus modeled what a man was to do in the face of violent opposition, and how a man was to stand firm in the face of overwhelming opposition. He elevated and honored women like no man in history. Jesus was and is the ultimate model of manliness for what He did when He died a shameful death in my place. You can trust him as your Savior, and you can also trust him to show you how to be genuinely manly.

Ed Litton

WARSHIP means picking of the sword and engaging the enemy. Its not a pretty sight, but war rarely is. One of the misconceptions (for lack of a better term) of Christianity is the process of maturation. I would venture to say that most ministers, teachers, and church members have been taught or used the analogy of a baby growing into adulthood as an example of Christian maturity. And, admittedly, there is some relevance there. Even Paul speaks of sucking on milk (spiritual baby) and chewing on some meat (spiritual adult). But I think that there is a better analogy to describe what happens to us when we become a Christian – we are recruited into the army of God. We may be mere privates when we are first recruited, but we are recruited to fight none the less. As a matter of fact Paul speaks of the war that is waging around us. It is one we don’t always see, but one we are, in fact, involved.

So what do we fight for? Great question. There are several things I think every man needs to fight for.

• The Heart of Your King - In his book, The Barbarian Way, Erwin McManus describes the part legend, part truth of what happened after the death of William Wallace, the brave leader who fought for Scotland’s freedom against England. Robert the Bruce, the leader who seemingly betrayed Wallace, regained his patriotism to lead Scotland to its independence. It is said that on his deathbed he had one request – after his death he wanted his heart cut out and taken into battle with the troops. One of his knights, Sir James Douglas, agreed to the the task. After Bruce’s death Douglas had his heart embalmed and put into a silver and enamel casket and wore it around his neck.
Legend has it that Douglas found himself fighting the Moors in Spain. He and his comrades were surrounded. Death was immanent. So he ripped King Bruce’s heart from around his neck and heaved it into the enemy and said, “Go! Go fight for the heart of your king!” So, men. Go! Go fight for the heart of your King! Go fight for his Kingdom. Go stand for truth. Take up arms against the devil. You have protection, but you also have a weapon – a sword, called the truth, God’s Word – to fight with. USE IT!! What are you waiting for? Aren’t you tired of being beat about the face and head by Satan? I am. I’m also tired of seeing my King’s name, character, and heart being drug through the mud of this culture by an enemy who has already been defeated. So. . .won’t you join me in fighting for the heart of your King?

• Your Heart - Listen up. It is your job to protect your heart. How do you do that? How about watching what you look at – internet, movies, tv, magazines, women? You know what I’m talking about. How about what you say – the jokes you tell, the words you use around others – including your spouse and children? How about your thought life? How about your attitude? How about your pride? Dare I go on? Men, it’s our job to make sure our hearts are protected. It is our responsibility to take up the sword and fight for our hearts. Job did this when he made a pact with his own eyes. He even said that if he looked at another man’s wife lustfully that man would have permission to have sex with his wife. How many of us would dare to make that covenant with our eyes? We dare not try to do it alone, but with God’s help we can do it. But it takes our conscious decision to do so.

• The Heart of Our Beauty – Come on guys, you knew I was going to get to this one sooner or later. It is our job to fight the heart, the character, and the integrity of our beauties. It’s no one else’s job. And, oh, by the way, if you don’t and someone else does, don’t be surprised if she’s willing to follow him instead. The woman in your life is looking for someone to follow. She is looking for a man who will stand up for her, even if it seems hopeless. Winning isn’t the deal here. Fighting for her is. Besides who of us wouldn’t want our beauty nursing us back to health after a well fought battle. Man, I would!

I know more about this than I care to have experienced. When Karen was sick and I knew she was going to die of cancer – yes, it seemed hopeless – I went before the Lord and told him that, though He may not heal her, He wasn’t going to get her without a fight. I never knew if Karen knew or not how hard I fought for her. That’s not the point. The point is that I wasn’t willing to just hand her over without a fight. I spent many hours praying for her – her heart, her pain, her suffering, her joy, her healing. I knew others were praying, as well, but it wasn’t their responsibility to do so. It was my responsibility. It wasn’t about the outcome, it was about the battle. It was about picking up my sword and fighting for my beauty.
I know there will come a day when God will grant me another beauty to share my life with. I want her to know, above all else, that I will fight for her, ’til death do us part .

• The Heart of a Fellow Warrior – Finally, I think we need to fight for one another. I’ve been in those groups where we asked the “hard” questions only to find out that someone was not being open or honest. And if they were, they weren’t going very deep. But what if it didn’t matter? What if we had their back no matter what. In the movie The Last Samurai, featuring Tom Cruise and Ken Watanabe, Tom Cruise’s character, Captain Nathan Algren has contracted with the Japanese government to prepare an army. In soon to follow battle, Algren is taken captive by Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe), Lord of the Samurai. Algren was nursed back to health only to discover the discipline, strength, and heart of a samurai. Through a series of circumstances and relationships he stays. In one scene ninja are sent to attack Katsumoto and the samurai. A fight ensues. Algren and Katsumoto find themselves back-to-back fighting, not just for their own lives, but for each other. By the end of the movie they are not only fellow warriors, they are close friends and comrades in arms. Neither man doubted that the other ever had is back. They literally fought the Japanese army side-by-side, back-to-back, to Katsumoto’s death.

Algren and Katsumoto is a great picture of men fighting for one another. Who are you fighting for? I don’t mean hanging out with. I’ve hung out with guys and never. . .not once. . .stood for them and fought for their heart, their eyes, their, minds, or their families. Imagine the difference we could make in the lives of men around us if we picked up our sword and fought for them?

So. . .there you have it – the 4 steps to becoming the man God designed and desires you to be.

RELATIONSHIP – starts here, grows from here
LORDSHIP – placing yourself and everything you touch under God’s authority
WORSHIP – developing an undying passion for God
WARSHIP – learning to fight for the heart of your King, your heart, the heart of your beauty, and the heart of the men around you

I know there’s a lot here. I know it takes time to process. But the process, I believe, is pretty clear. So. . .where are you in the process and what do you need to do to get to the next step? Only you can answer that question. Want a hint? Show these steps to the gift of a woman in your life and ask her where she thinks you are and what you could do to move to the next step. This is dangerous, but then again, the most dangerous place to be is in the middle of God’s will – just ask Jesus.

Mike