Along those lines I believe that every man who calls himself a Christ-follower ought to live a life that demands some evidence of his commitment to Christ.

I was reading John 12 last week and it got me to thinking.

In John 11 you have Jesus raising his good friend Lazarus from the grave – he was dead and is now alive. In chapter 12 we find Jesus hanging out with his really close, used-to-be-dead-now-he’s-alive friend. Jesus and his disciples are at Lazarus’ house eating, sharing stories, you know. . .guy stuff.

While they are there a whole bunch of folks start showing up, not only to see Jesus, but to see this guy who was dead and is now alive! I’m sure I would be one of the gawkers. C’mon. . .think about it. Here’s a guy that was really dead – he was dead for 4 days and really, really stunk. Now he’s walking, talking, laughing, eating, and drinking. Wouldn’t you want to see him?

OK, back to the story. . .

As it turns out, because  of Lazarus’ encounter with Jesus many Jews began to follow Jesus. And because of this, the Pharisees get perturbed and not only wanted to kill Jesus, but added Lazarus to the hit list as well.

As I read this I realized that Lazarus, who was dead and is now alive by Christ, was pointing people to Jesus. What a great lesson for us. We, too, who were dead in our transgressions or sins (Eph 2:1-3) have been made alive in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:4-5). And if we have been made alive in Christ, then shouldn’t our lives, also, be pointing people to Christ?

Men, if you have been alive in Christ, by accepting Him as your personal Lord and Savior (Rom 10:9-10), then you must ask yourself the question, “Does my life point people – my wife, my children, my clients, my boss, my friends, guests at my church, people I teach or serve with – to Jesus?” If not, then what can you do to change that? Whether you believe it or not there are people watching you and your life is speaking volumes to them. Which volume are they reading?

What evidence is there in your life that you have been raised from the death of your sins and made alive in Christ? Or do you look so much like the world that no one knows the difference. Yes, Lazarus was the same Lazarus. . .except he was different. Just ask a dead man what it means to be alive!

Just something to think about,

Mike

I’m reading Tony Dungy’s autobiography, Quiet Strength. It’s a great read and focuses on his struggles and personal walk with God as it does his coaching career. As I read it I’m reminded and discovering some secrets of leadership that have helped Coach Dungy throughout his carer as a coach, father, husband, and Christ-follower.

Here are a few of them:

• Do what we do and do it better than anyone else – don’t try to be like someone else’s business or ministry and don’t let others dictate what you should do
• Do the ordinary things extraordinary – just do the small things well
• Focus on the fundamentals – focus on the basics of what you do, you don’t have to get fancy schmancy
• No excuses, no explanations – stop looking for and finding excuses why you can’t do something
• Focus on the job, not the surroundings – leaders don’t have to have the best, the greatest, nor the latest of everything to be successful
• Whatever it takes – do whatever it takes to be and do what God has called you to be and do
• Worrying about stuff is God’s job, just do what He’s called you to do – don’t worry about your job, finances, or what others think of you, just do what God’s called you to do
• Trust God that all things work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose, even when it doesn’t feel good to me – either you believe this or not, irregardless of your circumstance

I know some of these may be re-stated or redundant, but I like the way he says them. They seem to ring a bell with me. I’m still reading and as I find more leadership nuggets I’ll share them with you as I discover them myself.

Mike

Smalley suggests that we often find our joy in what we do – as in our jobs or careers- our hobbies, our mates, our children, our finances, our status, and a whole host of people, things, and situations. I know that as guys we tend to find our identity in our job. It defines who we are. So when we lose our job it’s as though we’ve lost our identity. We don’t know who we are.

But what if we were to find our joy, and our identity, in Christ? What if, in spite of our circumstances, our source of joy was Christ? Would this change things in our lives? I think so. No, I know so. See, it wouldn’t matter what our mate did. We would have a never ending source of joy. I wouldn’t matter what happened in the office, our joy would remain with us. Our circumstances could change, but so what? Christ is our joy, not our circumstances.

I was really challenged by this thought this morning. Before my time with God I read an email from a pastor friend of mine who had been struggling about staying put and serving God in a small, heart-hardened church (my description) or moving on. He has decided to stay put and to serve God. While his soul aches for the people of his church and community he goes to bed at night with an incredible peace because he knows that he knows he is God’s. It’s where he finds his peace. Not in the people, their response to his messages, or his job as a pastor, but in Christ alone.

Then I read Psalms 40:1

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

That phrase “I waited patiently” can also be interpreted “I waited expectantly.” The thought hit me as I discovered its interpretation, “Do I wait expectantly for the Lord?” I dare say I don’t. I couldn’t get this question out of my mind this morning. I had also heard it Sunday night from, Dr. Doug Wilson, our new Minister to Senior Adults and Shut-Ins. Doug asked us this question – do we expect God to do great and might things? Are we preparing our hearts and lives for what He may do? Again, not me!

I finished my time with God I by wrapping up a chapter in Smalley’s book, Joy that Lasts. I was overwhelmed with emotion and conviction. Why? Because I don’t find my joy in Christ! I continue to search for it in other places – hanging out with guys, in my relationship with Cindy , teaching, and my finances. The problem is that each of these ought to be a passion or responsibility (speaking to finances), not a, or the, source of my joy. So when one doesn’t provide the anticipated joy I desire I freak out, get depressed, worry, and/or get frustrated.

I guess the greatest one for me is finances. I keep looking at the checkbook and the bills and I worry. Will the money be there? What will I do if it’s not? Should I go out and get another job? If so, where? And my joy is stolen from me. Well. . .it’s not really stolen. It’s more like given away. Why? Because I look to my finances as a source of joy, rather than Christ.

I have to admit, as a guy, waiting on the Lord, much less waiting expectantly, is tough for me to do. I don’t know about you, but I really struggle with this. This morning I was encouraged by pastors God brought to mind who, in spite of their circumstances, seem to have found the real source of joy. I was also convicted of where I connect to find my joy. I spent some time this morning meditating on where I do find my joy and in tearful confession that Christ hasn’t been my source of joy. I also have to admit, that this will take work for me. It will be a daily, if not moment-by-moment, effort for me to connect to the proper source of joy.

Where do you find joy? Do your circumstances affect your sense of joy? Is it your job, your wife, your children, your hobby, a sense of control, your friends, or some other source? If it’s anything other than Christ, I would recommend you take some time – now, today, this week – to think about it. If it’s anything other than Christ confess it to God, receive His forgiveness and daily plug into Christ’s everlasting source of joy!

Mike

I just wrote an article for Catalyst Monthly. Should be in next month’s issue. I’m not sure exactly how to say this–don’t have my mind wrapped around it yet. And it probably won’t come across as very academic. But one of the most over-looked and under-appreciated dimensions of great leadership is guts.

Yesterday I preached about Jonathan climbing a cliff while Saul sat under a pomegranate tree on the outskirts of Gibeah. I love Jonathan’s modus operandi in I Samuel 14: Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. It took guts to climb that cliff. But a little bit of guts saved the nation of Israel.

It took guts for Benaiah to chase a lion. For the normal person, the gut reaction would be to run away. But Benaiah made a gutsy move–he chased the lion. And it changed the course of His life.

Great leaders are gutsy! It takes different shapes in different arenas. But gutsy leaders dare to be different. Gutsy leaders challenge the status quo. Gutsy leaders refuse to play it safe.

And no one was more gutsy than Jesus! He wasn’t afraid of offending Pharisees; touching lepers; washing feet; defending prostitutes; or befriending tax collectors. In the words of Dorothy Sayers:

To do them justice, the people who crucified Jesus did not do so because he was a bore. Quite the contrary; he was too dynamic to be safe. It has been left for later generations to muffle up that shattering personality and surround him with an atmosphere of tedium. We have declawed the lion of Judah and made him a housecat for pale priests and pious old ladies.

I just have this growing conviction that what the church lacks is guts. We need more leaders with the spirit of Jonathan; the spirit of Benaiah; and the spirit of Jesus. We need more leaders who climb cliffs, chase lions, and throw Temple tantrums!

It’s not enough to have the truth in our minds. It’s not enough to have the truth in our hearts. We’ve got to get the truth in our guts!

It takes guts to share your faith. It takes guts to tithe. It takes guts to pursue a God-ordained dream. It takes guts to lead a small group. It takes guts to confess your sin. It takes guts to follow Christ.

Praying for guts!

I love what Mark has to say about guts.  Hey guys, it takes guts to be a leader – in your home, in your church, in your workplace, and among your friends.  It takes guts to be different. . .like Jesus.

Do you have the guts to follow Jesus?  To lead your family?  To have an unquenchable passion for God?  To change your community?  To do the right thing when no one else will?   To be different for the Kingdom’s sake?

If not, then like Mark and me, pray for guts.  Pray that God would give you the courage to be the man He designed and desires you to be.

I want to thank Mark for challenging me and allow me to use his post to challenge you.

I’ve been reading through a book I have come to find both intriguing and challenging. It’s Paul Coughlin’s No More Christian Nice Guy. In it Coughlin posits the idea that our culture and our churches are creating “Christian Nice Guys” and in doing so are damaging our families, our boys, our men, and even our churches.

Coughlin suggests that we (culture and church) have created an environment where men have become passive, uninitiated, and where “nice” is preferred over good. There is a difference, you know. Jesus was good, but He wasn’t always nice.

Let’s consider how many times he confronted (something nice guys don’t do) the Pharisees and Sadducees. He used words and phrases like. . .

• “Hypocrites!”
• “White-washed tombs.”
• “Fools!”
• “Dull.”
• “Brood of vipers fit for hell.”

Think back to the time He got angry at the temple and stood up for God and the truth of God. What did He do? Remember? In case it has slipped your mind, or you’re unfamiliar with the passage, We find in John 2 that Jesus got angry and began tearing the place a part. He even made a whip and started beating some people with it. Doesn’t sound like a guy who was “nice,” does it? So while Jesus was a good guy, He wasn’t always a nice guy. He was passionate. He was a risk-taker. He was a leader. He was a changer and a doer. He wasn’t a “yes” man. He certainly didn’t “go with the flow.” He was compassionate and loving. He was gentle, but not at the expense of His masculinity.

I go to thinking the other day. What’s the picture I often see of Jesus on the cross? It’s usually this emaciated man; one who looks like He’s been on a starvation diet for some time. But as I read about Jesus of the Bible I find Him to be a carpenter. A blue-collar man. He has callouses on His hands. The muscles in His arms, shoulders, back, and chest are well developed from years of hammering, chiseling, hand sawing (no power saws here, guys), and carving. His face is worn from sweat and dust. His skin is dark from walking in the sun that last three years. He doesn’t stand out from the crowd. He looks like many of the carpenters in the carpenter’s union. That’s the Jesus I see on the cross.
Our culture tells us to be nice . . .

• “Now you boys play nice.”
• “Be nice to one another.”
• “You don’t want to do that. It sounds too risky.”
• “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.” – I’ve said this one a time or two

What about our churches? How have they contributed to men’s desire to be “nice”? Well, when was the last time you heard a preacher tell women to learn to relate to their husband in his language? I often hear preachers and leaders encourage and challenge men to learn how to relate to their wives. It’s like we need to learn their language. We need to get in touch with our sensitive sides so we can understand them better. Yet, I rarely hear the same leaders encourage women to learn to understand their men better. Or to learn how to relate to them in the language of men. Or to stop expecting men to be something they’re not – soft and sensitive – and encourage wives to be more sexual and hands on. It’s as though the pressure is all on the man to make things work – even if it means emasculating him.

So we give in. We allow our culture, and even our churches, to step all over us. We stop being what God created us to be – leaders, risk-takers, doers, thinkers, challengers, . . .

Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote the forward. She writes,

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind men that they are men, and that this designation is not about biology; it’s about strength, will, honor, courage, leadership, sacrifice, compassion, and love.

Here I am, a nice Jewish mother, writing the forward for a book about Christian Nice Guys. Why? Because, within the context of Christian Scripture, there is a message for all of us: Men and women are created differently, equal in value, but different. The unisex, anti-male mentality that has infiltrated all our institutions, even our religious ones, has not brought cooperation, love, and serenity to homes and lives. In order for our children to become happy, functional, loving, contributing members of this world, they need the support an structure that an intact, happy home can bring. I see No More Christian Nice Guy as a step in that direction.

Don’t know about you, but that says a lot about where we are and where we need to get back to.

Last month Coughlin’s suggestion came to life for me. I had taken my car to get the tires rotated before I headed back to Texas spend time with my family over the Christmas holidays. I was reading this book when a young lady and her daughter came in to the waiting area. As I set the book down she asked me about it. I shared the premise of the book with her. She grinned and said that her best friend was struggling – in her marriage relationship, she was struggling. It seems that her best friend’s husband was too passive. Her best friend wanted her husband to be more aggressive. She wanted him to step up and make decisions. . .to take a stand. . .to take the lead. She wanted him to be a man. Oh, both of these families, I found out, are active in one of our locals churches.
It seems that there is more to this concept than meets the eye. It appears that this is just not an idea for the pages of books, but is alive and well. . .even in the buckle of the Bible belt.
As I wrap up, here are a couple of the chapter titles:

• Jesus the Bearded Woman
• Other Earnest but Damaging Church Messages to Men
• How Being “Nice” Ruins Love and Marriage
• We’re Men, Not Eunochs
• Masculinity: The Journey from Nice Guy to Good Guy (parts 1 & 2)
• Searching for One’s Soul and Facing One’s Fears
• No More Mr. Nice Guy: Practical Help for Your New Life Ahead

Hey guys. If you’re looking for a book that will challenge your thinking about manhood in the 21st Century, check it out.

Mike

Former CNG

Max makes some statements about faith, that, as I pondered them, really helped me.  Allow me to share them with you.

• Faith is the conviction that Jesus can and a hope that He will.
• Faith is not (my emphasis) the belief that God will do what you want, but that He will do what is right.
• Faith is the belief that God is real and God is good.

Then I got to thinking . . . why is it so difficult for us men to have the kind of faith that allows our lives to intersect with God’s power?  Why don’t we trust God for everything in our lives – relationships, attitudes, finances, job, hobbies, children. . .you get the picture?  I think it has to do with our pride and our culture.

Our pride and our culture are inter-linked.  Our pride tells us we don’t need someone else’s help.  Our pride makes us a spiritual island.  Our pride makes us devoid of God’s power.  Our pride blinds us to our need – Jesus.  But, we give in to it. . .we protect it. . .we cherish it.  We polish it, love it, lean on it, trust in it, and allow it to control us.

Our culture, better yet, generationally we have taught our boys and young men that real men don’t need any help.  Real men pull themselves up by their own boot straps.  Real men suck it up. . .walk it off. . .don’t rub it. . .don’t cry. . .are strong. . .yadda, yadda, yadda.  Hey guys!  That’s a load of crap and don’t buy into it.  I remember when I used to think that I did everything myself.  I even remember telling my mom that all I had was because of all I did.  I worked for it.  I earned it.  I paid for it.  What a foolish little man I was.
Within the pages of the Bible we find a man who tried to take on life on his own.  Saul wouldn’t wait for Samuel to offer the sacrifice before they fought with the Philistines, so he did it himself.  Oooo, bad move.  After than God removed His hand from Saul.  It wasn’t Saul’s place to offer the burnt offering.  Besides, where was his faith in his LORD – the same LORD who set him apart as king of Israel?  Saul missed out on God’s power because of his fear. . .his pride.
When we try to do things ourselves – apart from God – we miss out on experiencing the power of Jesus.  I’m not sure God will remove His hand from you, but I do know from personal experience that you will not know of His incredible power.

Men, don’t allow your pride, our culture, your father or your father’s father tell you that you have to do things on your own.  YOU DON’T!!  Faith – it means trusting God’s heart, even when you can’t see His hand.  Faith – it’s putting trust into action.  Faith – it’s believing God wants the best for you.  Faith – allows you to see God move in and around you in the most incredible of ways.  Faith – don’t miss it!

Mike

I began sharing the process of becoming the men God designed and desired us to be with Alex. I found it interesting that Alex commented that men will not attempt the process for fear. Fear of. . .? Fear of failure. He shared with me that because men fear failure so much they will not begin the process. They are afraid they will mess up in the process.
I never made the connection before. But I think Alex may be right. We men won’t even attempt to become the men God designed and desires us to be because we are so afraid of falling in the process.

Then. . .then I’m reminded that the Bible records the failings great men of God.

• David fell when he committed adultery with Bathsheba, then committed murder when he had one of his most loyal warriors sent to the greatest battle knowing Uriah’s chances of being killed in battle were the highest. And yes, Uriah was killed faithfully serving his king.
• Abraham convinced Sarah to lie about being his wife when they went to Egypt.
• Moses struck the rock rather than speaking to it as God instructed.
• Peter openly and publicly denied Christ.
• Elijah ran for his life after he witnessed God send down fire from heaven to consume not only an offering but the entire altar before the people of Israel.

I used to have a boss who said that he didn’t mind me messing up because it showed I was trying. Guys, we mess up. To be honest, we’re going to mess up. We’re guys! That’s what we do. So why not mess up trying to be the man God and your wife want you to be. Life will go on. Believe me when I tell you it will go a long way with both.
Mike